You can’t stop relapsing (returning to your addictive pattern). You heard about a special kind of counselor who has a unique way of helping with issues like yours. She likely doesn’t realize how severe your condition is though- that no matter what, you can’t stop going back, and all of the feelings you end up flooded with are weighing you down. You’re tired of regressing, you need to progress instead. Thankfully, this is her specialty. Even if she has to brainwash you by manually altering the perception of your addiction in your brain. One thing you can trust is that after you see her, you’ll be free, although your definition of “free” may shift..